In a world where everyone is looking for someone, being the only one that doesn’t have anybody is a crazy thing. But this isn’t a blog where I'm going to complain about my current status ( single, yep! ) or to even say “yes, I’m looking for that special someone” (wait… I just did) It’s pretty much just a giant story about my experience.
Ever since I was a little girl, boys were just boys. They didn’t seem to make me react the same way other girls did. I was such a boy when I was younger. I was the girl that got picked first in gym class (skirt and all) I was the one that was allowed to play with the boys during recess, my best friends were guys and I loved it. I didn’t seem to get what the hype was about passing notes in class, giggling about pigtails and shiny things, all I knew was that when the bell rang it was time to play kickball, soccer baseball, basketball and all the other weird games that were popular when we were kids.
I was raised in a family of not one, but TWO boys. My brothers are 4-5 years older than me and they were great growing up. I used to have full out wars with them, they taught me how to fight and rough house (not so great when you grow up and it turns out your actually a girl) But eventually, you do reach 15. And you start to notice certain things around you, like the girls wear… HEELS? And they do their hair? And they don’t play with the boys anymore, they flirt with them!! ITS NUTS! It’s kind of awkward too, because for the first time in your life you don’t feel like you fit in but it’s almost like you don’t care. You’ll take hoodies and running shoes over not being able to move.
Sigh** those were the days. I miss those days. They were so uncomplicated! (I hope my daughter turns out like me)
Anyways, that isn’t the topic. The topic is about what happened next. My life took a very dramatic change to ‘girly side’ & God took over me. I was headed in the WRONG direction ( but that’s a different story, different time) When I finally started figuring out that boys are cute & I LUV’em! Choosing became the issue. So here goes a story rarely told…
I didn’t date, I liked boys, boys sometimes liked me. But it just never happened, I always thought school,school, school first. My daddy always told me the same thing too. So it didn’t really matter to me, until one day…
I made a decision based on an emotion I had never felt before. (mistake numero 2) I was overwhelmed by the emotion that I was feeling for him, that I didn’t think of the obvious. My friends told me no, my head told me no, my family told me no,God was saying no, everything said NO! But I didn’t listen because I thought I could handle this & I’ve never felt this before. So you go through all the reasons in your head of why you SHOULD try it out, after all, what’s the worst that can possibly happen? So instead of doing what I knew I should have, I accepted. I got my very first boyfriend. If you know me at all, you’ll know the ridiculous amount of drama this caused in my life. Ten months of pure.. BALONY! I look back and reflect and can’t remember a moment where I felt happy. Or content or even a little bit satisfied. He was more trouble than a benefit. He gave me a headache, put me in sticky situations, made me question everything I thought I deserved, argued with me about everything, lied, cheated, it was all around a great big MESS! Many ask if I regret it and I say no, I don’t. As much as it caused me trouble and eventually heart ache I learned a lot about myself in those ten months. And as much as it changed me, I changed for the better.
So here’s the deal, people always say life is about risks. This can be true, but stupidity cannot be defined as a risk. I took a ‘risk’ with someone who didn’t love God. At that point in my life I was fighting for a family that had lost faith, I was fighting for brothers that were lost & now I was fighting for a boyfriend who didn’t like my ‘holiness’. It was STUPID. Not a risk. I wasted so much time and effort on someone who didn’t even like me enough.
Mistake number 1: When everyone says no, you do it anyways.
People can always see what we are too blinded to see. Listen, don’t just hear. Don’t call them haters, most of the time their telling you because they care.
"Listen to advice and accept discipline,
and at the end you will be counted among the wise." Proverbs 19:20
Mistake number 2: Confusing lust/like for LOVE.
If you’re always giving, giving, giving & you’re not getting anything in return. He doesn’t love you. Drop it like its hot and move on.
Mistake number 3: Listening, but not seeing. ( Actions speak louder than words)
Saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t mean he means it. It just means he knows he can say it. Actions must reflect words, and words must reflect their actions. If he says he loves you, he needs to prove it.
Mistake number 4: Fear of being alone
You’re not going to be single for the rest of your life. You will, if you
keep staying with people who suck. Guys don’t want to have to compete for the
affection of someone who’s willing to give it to the idiot that keeps toying
Mistake number 5: Breaking up but staying friends.
If you got feelings for him, you got to let it go to. move on.
Those are the basics, this is the bottom line for Pentecostal/Apostolic Christian
If you’ve been called & chosen by God(which we are and have been). And your heart belongs to our
creator. Expect nothing less from the boy that you choose. If you love God, he
needs to love God. If you serve God, he needs to serve God. Opposites do attract, but only
because darkness always needs some light, but isn’t the whole world dark
enough, you gotta shine together. This should be your highest standard, the rest will follow.
woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to
So, I’m no expert. But experience taught me that much. And as much as I get frustrated and lonely, I will continue to wait in the Lord. I know he’s got the perfect drama free boy for me. Keep on praying. Stay beautiful & Stay You.